Cancer Soundtrack Song Five

Death Cab for Cutie "Brothers in a hotel bed"

Listen while you read, for some reason I feel real emotion in this song.

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be

No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise

The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw 

Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end 

But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize 

When he catches his reflection on accident 

Quietly you sit with several people who, you would think, feel betrayed and alone in a room that is too bright to be natural. Nurses busy themselves with the needs of too many to truly meet any one need. Slowly each person has their own concoction of effective poisons, promising hope, pumped through clear tubes into various parts of their body. The newbies’ tubes run into arms and wrists, the veterans are more fortunate and have lines hooked directly to their chests.

Each person seems to have their own way of escape, some live in the world described in books. Some pump music in their ears, their feet giving away to the beat of the music of choice. Some bring laptops and papers, hoping the stress of work will diminish the reality of the situation. Still others find respite in sleep, letting their minds live in the world of dreams.

Spouses and friends visit each person. Funny the spouses/friends always wear sadness and pity on their faces. While the people they visit… their faces light up with the presence of the ones they love.

Here I sit. In a world that should be only known in movies. You know the ones that pull at your heart.

Here I sit. In a world in which people are really waging a war for their life.

Here I sit. Knowing that some of the people will not win. They know it… still they fight.

Here I sit. Where the nurses wear thick rubber gloves and jackets as to not be exposed to what we are pumping in our bodies.

Here I sit. In a room with smiles on everyone’s faces.

Here I sit. In a room of people who have felt death’s touch which has taught them to live.

Here I sit. With a rare chance to see the true Grace of humanity….If we all could be so fortunate.